It’s also connected to TV. There’s been connected television advertising spend and continue to growing over the next several years after this. There’s a compounded annual growth rate. of Robertson, which is pretty exceptional What’s even it more interesting about CTV is like all digital media it started off. really being focused on a younger generation, right the fast movers the those folks that Move into media quickly tend to be younger more tech savvy but because CTV is so much like something that every age group has grown up with television.
The below is the original writing of hers and dad’s correction. Native English speakers, if you have any suggestions, please do let us know!
条件/Conditions:
Write an essay on the given TOPIC
Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer
Structure: introduction, main body, and conclusion
TOPIC/お題: Agree or disagree: High school education in Japan needs to be approved
POINTS:
Curriculum
Globalization
Pressure on students
Quality of teaching
回答および修正案
Despite the effort put into high school education, I think it needs to be improved for two reasons. One is globalization and the other is the quality of teaching.
Despite the significant (このような副詞を効果的に入れることで、言いたいことの方向性が分かりやすくなる。前に冠詞を入れたのはgood!)effort put into high school education in Japan for a long time(これも同様の理由で追記です), I think it needs to be improved for two reasons. One is globalization and the other is the quality of teaching.
First of all, globalization of students in Japan is important. Japanese high schoolers are not use to speaking English at this moment and that is not a very good thing. Nowadays, speaking English is becoming almost essential in businesses, and it’s much easier to learn foreign languages from a young age, so high school should teach to speak English more.
First of all, globalization of students in Japan is critical considering the changes in global market.(少し「洒落た」単語 (=critical) を使った方が「賢く」聞こえるのと、常に「どうしてなのか?」という観点を加えて書くと、理論的に聞こえる) Japanese high schoolers are not used to speaking English now(at this moment、と言うと「今この瞬間」という感じで文脈にそぐわない) after over six years of learning (背景を補足し、論理を補完することで理論的に聞こえる)and it is disadvantageous (not a very good thingというのは口語体に過ぎる)in this world (同上の理由で追記). Nowadays, speaking English is becoming almost essential in businesses, and it’s much easier to learn foreign languages from a young age (ここに冠詞を入れるかは日本人には判断難しいところ。ネイティブのディスカッションによると貴回答の通りで正しいようです。Which is correct, “from a young age” or “from young age”? [closed]), therefore(この手の作文ではsoよりよりフォーマルなthereforeが望ましい) high schools should teach English speaking (英会話を教えた方がいい、ということであれば添削案かspoken Englishの方が良いでしょう。「もっと喋るように促した方がいい」というニュアンスでしたら lead students to speak English more なんていうのも少し洒落た言い回しでしょう)more to students(これは入れても入れなくても、というレベルではあります).
Second of all, quality of teaching in Japan is doubtful. Even top Japanese University, Tokyo University is not in top 10 of best asian universities. If Universities aren’t good, that means quality of high schools aren’t good either.
Second of all, the (2回目なので)quality of English (英語で書く時に、このように「言っていることが明確になるような語を足していくこと」を意識しましょう。日本語・日本人というのは文章において「普通分かるよね?」という部分と意識が大きい。ただし米人・英語ではあまりそれは望ましくなく、常に「理論的に考えて理論的に作文して理論的に発話する」ことを考えていきましょう。おとなになって大きな差がつくはずです。(親父はそこらへんは苦しんでいるところあります))teaching in Japan is skeptical. (doubtful, でも悪くないです。skeptical の方が要は強いニュアンスです。ネイティブによるニュアンスの議論はこちらを参照のほど。skeptical vs. doubtful) Even the (特定して書く場合にtheを付ける)top Japanese university (ここでは一般名詞), Tokyo University, (カンマで区切って特定し、特定を終わる) is not listed (語感として「入っていない」となるのでベター)in the (前述の通り)top 10 ofbest(topとbest では意味が重複する) Asian universities. If those (東京大学みたいな、となりますね)universities aren’t good, that means the (前に言ったけど、みたいな冠詞の使い方になります)quality of high schools aren’t good either.(最後の部分は英語としては間違っていないものの、理論展開としては繋がりが薄い。高校が弱いということは大学が弱いというロジックですが、高校は強い/高校生はしっかり勉強する、だけど大学は何かの理由でしっかりした教育を提供できていない、日本の大学生はおそらく理由を知っていると思うけどちゃんと勉強できていない、ということはあり得る。 テストなので、そこまで考える必要はないかもしれないけれど、テスト受ける目的って一体なんだろう。 パパからすると、理論的に考えれるようになって、理論的に書けて、最後は理論的に英語で喋れるようになること、だと思うんだよね。だから脳みそから汗が出るほど考えてみよう)
For these two reasons, globalization of high school student and quality of teaching, I think high school education should be improved.
For these two reasons, the necessity of (理論的な文章になるように補完。同上)globalization of the high school students and enhancing (同様)the quality of teaching, I think the high school education in Japan should be improved.
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